Self Love:

Part 2 of the “Insecure? Let’s talk about it” series.

In my last blog I mentioned SELF-LOVE, but what does that actually consist of? What does it look like? How do I start? are probably questions you may have had or have. There is no one answer that fits all of those questions. The truth is, it will consist of something different and look different to each individual. Also, you start when you are ready to start.

SELF-LOVE is being connected to yourself; it’s unique, it’s intentional, it’s rewarding, it’s refreshing, it’s unapologetic in nature, has no boundaries, and it’s freedom, much like Self Care, right?! I have listed below ways to identify your WHAT, WHY, and HOW to make your SELF-LOVE journey, a fulfilled one.

1. WHAT? Define what loving yourself means first and foremost. Discover and identify what SELF-LOVE looks like for yourself, what do you hope to gain? What are areas in your life, where you need to accept and fall in love with all over again or for the first time! For example, my definition of SELF-LOVE is being okay with every part of what makes me, Me and viewing myself the way God views me. Your definition will be different from mine, but that’s okay!

2. WHY? Your “why” will be your motivation to start and continue on your SELF-LOVE journey so make sure its worth your time, energy, and efforts. Your “why” will not be the same as the next person’s, but again that’s a good thing!

3. HOW? Write a list of all the things you love about yourself right now and then make a list of things that you desire to love about yourself, if you can write a list of things that you love about yourself now, then you have the ability to love other parts of you, no matter what it is, and know it is not just limited to physical attributes. In a previous blog, I mentioned “positive affirmation,” (which is a statement that helps to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts) as a good way to combat low self-esteem, but it can be a powerful and empowering thing when you use it. Positively affirming yourself, can propel you to have a healthy sense of yourself in the long run. When you positively affirm yourself, you must make sure it is positive ONLY, so no room for self hate or to pick at the things you don’t like about yourself. Again, SELF-LOVE is intentional, by saying “I Am…” you can have freedom to choose whatever realistic word would fit. (ex. I Am worthy, I Am capable of getting through today, etc..) Furthermore, you can devote each week to an aspect of your life (refer to your list you developed with what you desire to love about you); like really dedicate the week to an aspect or part of your life which needs more of your good ol’ lovin’ and attention. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from negative energy; if you are constantly around negative people and negative energy your self love journey won’t be easy; be intentional about surrounding yourself with others that are encouraging and positive, you need a healthy balance! Do the things that make you happy, forgive yourself from past mistakes, acknowledge your small victories, challenge your negative thoughts should they come (where is the evidence that this thought is true and valid?) and show others love and respect (very rewarding), embrace yourself :-) I’d also like to add that journaling your SELF-LOVE journey is a greaaaaat idea, something to look back on some time later too

HMMMM…I wonder what i’m having for lunch??

HMMMM…I wonder what i’m having for lunch??

12 practices that promotes Inner Peace and Happiness


  1. Apologize as necessary--Life is too short.

  2. Forgive others-- Being gracious is a gift from God.

  3. Participate in pleasurable activities -- Doing something you enjoy doing always sounds nice, right?

  4. Exercise -- Those "happy" hormones start kicking in!

  5. Smile--You look great and feel great doing it :-)

  6. Laughter--Its medicine for the SOUL.

  7. Socialize with Friends and Loved ones--Go where you are loved and welcomed and not Tolerated.

  8. BE Authentic--Be true to who you are and what you feel, the ones who don't matter Mind,  and the ones who matter Don't Mind.

  9. Self-awareness is Golden--Check In with yourself as necessary, be in tune with yourself In all aspects.

  10. Practice Patience-- Be not only patient with yourself but with others (I'm still working on this one)

  11.  Understanding--The power of Understanding is Awesome!

  12. Positive SELFtalk-- Positive talk promotes positive vibes.

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Fake Love?

I've heard all types of sayings and read memes about "Fake Love" and those who show fake love, blah, blah, blah...but it's nothing new right?! Honestly, back in the day, we called it being "fake" or "not real".  I have a name I like to use..."plastic" or I'll just say "not genuine." I know it seems like I have been on this topic somewhat before, but goes to show where my frustration lies, I have a thing for genuine and authentic people though. You can be f*ed up or just having a bad day, or even having an awesome day but I love the authentic energy I get from a person and I can work with that. 

One thing I have realized within the past couple of years, because I decided to pay more attention to it; which I consider a good and bad thing smh, is that there are individuals that dislike you or have an issue with you because of the way that others love you! Now read it again if ya need to......ok, back? Yes, as weird as that sounds, it's very true. You have to remember and really know that has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with that individual. Look at it like this, a person who is unhappy with themselves and their own life, cannot be happy for another person's a struggle bus forreal. So if those individuals that are unhappy with themselves see characteristics in another person or persons that are received well by others and they in a sense "want what you have"..we tend to call that coveting, but you get the point, then it makes that person feel some type of way. Those individuals are still deserving of Love though and will even do their best to show you Love too; even if they don't necessarily feel it, they tried.

Don't do like I did and put blame on yourself, thinking it was something that you may have done wrong and internally struggle with the thought that you may have caused this person's unhappiness, then get upset when you can't figure it out and then spew their same unhappiness right back (check yourself); after all misery loves company right? because the fact of the matter is YOU didn't, even if blame is placed on you...don't take it, you can't afford it. One of the many sayings that has always stuck with me is "You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm" #fact. It's not an attack or  a reason to be mean, it's a declaration to yourself and others that its not your job to sacrifice your "being" to make someone else feel better about themselves. If you choose to do so, that is a personal choice. 

(However, if you are the cause or person to blame for someone's unhappiness, then the above wouldn't necessarily apply and a conversation should be had.)

I say all of this to say, keep being bomb af, identify your "people" and keep them around, make new friends, mend relationships if necessary, keep spewing your "good vibes" around, remain positive as much as possible, and if you can't take care of your SELF, don't tell yourself negative things that aren't true, even if others give you a negative script, you don't have to rehearse that to yourself. Spread Love and not Hate.