Self Love:

Part 2 of the “Insecure? Let’s talk about it” series.

In my last blog I mentioned SELF-LOVE, but what does that actually consist of? What does it look like? How do I start? are probably questions you may have had or have. There is no one answer that fits all of those questions. The truth is, it will consist of something different and look different to each individual. Also, you start when you are ready to start.

SELF-LOVE is being connected to yourself; it’s unique, it’s intentional, it’s rewarding, it’s refreshing, it’s unapologetic in nature, has no boundaries, and it’s freedom, much like Self Care, right?! I have listed below ways to identify your WHAT, WHY, and HOW to make your SELF-LOVE journey, a fulfilled one.

1. WHAT? Define what loving yourself means first and foremost. Discover and identify what SELF-LOVE looks like for yourself, what do you hope to gain? What are areas in your life, where you need to accept and fall in love with all over again or for the first time! For example, my definition of SELF-LOVE is being okay with every part of what makes me, Me and viewing myself the way God views me. Your definition will be different from mine, but that’s okay!

2. WHY? Your “why” will be your motivation to start and continue on your SELF-LOVE journey so make sure its worth your time, energy, and efforts. Your “why” will not be the same as the next person’s, but again that’s a good thing!

3. HOW? Write a list of all the things you love about yourself right now and then make a list of things that you desire to love about yourself, if you can write a list of things that you love about yourself now, then you have the ability to love other parts of you, no matter what it is, and know it is not just limited to physical attributes. In a previous blog, I mentioned “positive affirmation,” (which is a statement that helps to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts) as a good way to combat low self-esteem, but it can be a powerful and empowering thing when you use it. Positively affirming yourself, can propel you to have a healthy sense of yourself in the long run. When you positively affirm yourself, you must make sure it is positive ONLY, so no room for self hate or to pick at the things you don’t like about yourself. Again, SELF-LOVE is intentional, by saying “I Am…” you can have freedom to choose whatever realistic word would fit. (ex. I Am worthy, I Am capable of getting through today, etc..) Furthermore, you can devote each week to an aspect of your life (refer to your list you developed with what you desire to love about you); like really dedicate the week to an aspect or part of your life which needs more of your good ol’ lovin’ and attention. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from negative energy; if you are constantly around negative people and negative energy your self love journey won’t be easy; be intentional about surrounding yourself with others that are encouraging and positive, you need a healthy balance! Do the things that make you happy, forgive yourself from past mistakes, acknowledge your small victories, challenge your negative thoughts should they come (where is the evidence that this thought is true and valid?) and show others love and respect (very rewarding), embrace yourself :-) I’d also like to add that journaling your SELF-LOVE journey is a greaaaaat idea, something to look back on some time later too

HMMMM…I wonder what i’m having for lunch??

HMMMM…I wonder what i’m having for lunch??

12 practices that promotes Inner Peace and Happiness


  1. Apologize as necessary--Life is too short.

  2. Forgive others-- Being gracious is a gift from God.

  3. Participate in pleasurable activities -- Doing something you enjoy doing always sounds nice, right?

  4. Exercise -- Those "happy" hormones start kicking in!

  5. Smile--You look great and feel great doing it :-)

  6. Laughter--Its medicine for the SOUL.

  7. Socialize with Friends and Loved ones--Go where you are loved and welcomed and not Tolerated.

  8. BE Authentic--Be true to who you are and what you feel, the ones who don't matter Mind,  and the ones who matter Don't Mind.

  9. Self-awareness is Golden--Check In with yourself as necessary, be in tune with yourself In all aspects.

  10. Practice Patience-- Be not only patient with yourself but with others (I'm still working on this one)

  11.  Understanding--The power of Understanding is Awesome!

  12. Positive SELFtalk-- Positive talk promotes positive vibes.

blog pic.JPG take.

Ok let's talk about SELFcare shall we? Now it may seem like a trend or something that's cool to embrace, but personally this is a part of my lifestyle. I am a big advocate and supporter of SELFcare, being a Mental Health Counselor, I take this very seriously and it's important to me. So important, in fact, that I have designed T-shirts aimed at SELFcare and have dedicated proceeds to assist an individual with their Mental Health treatment if finances seems to be an issue ;-). 

I want to start off by letting you know that SELFcare is totally individual, it's not a "one size fits all" type of practice. SELFcare can mean different things to different people, but at the heart of it all, it is NOT selfish and it's intentional. So where do you start?

A lot of us already practice SELFcare, we just may call it something else; it's physical though. Identify what activities you like to do that make you feel good or happy; again it's individual and personal. SELFcare is and can be quite intentional; spend more time if necessary to carve out time to take care of yourself; be kind to yourself. Listen to your body, because it will let you know certain clues like when you're stressed, hurt, tired, fatigued, excitable, etc. I choose to exercise, eat more healthy when I feel that urge to do so; my body usually lets me know lol, refrain from negativity and/or distance myself from it be it temporary or long term, pamper myself (doing my nails, getting them done, or getting a massage.) 

One of the key things that I had to re-learn and then be ok with is saying "No" and also knowing when to say "No" as well. At times I've felt obligated to say yes to people or felt like "No" wasn't an appropriate option, but that's so not true, and it's nothing against others or being mean, which tends to be the mindset of some, but it has everything to do with me being self aware and not taking on too much or being a "yes (wo)man." Believe it or not, there is so much freedom in taking better care of yourself and again.... SELFcare isn't selfish, as a matter of fact, it's the complete opposite! It's an unselfish act of being the best YOU that YOU can be for yourself and others as a result.

Kemi Definition:

SELFcare~ Giving yourself permission to unapologetically take care of yourself; mind, body, and spirit via activities and/or coping skills. 

Pretty straight forward!

Be Blessed Friends.

SELFcare Tee

SELFcare Tee